For You

Title: For You
Rating: PG-13
Author: Reportergirl13

Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean, Castiel
Word Count: 569
Warnings: Spoilers through season 5
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything belongs to Eric Kipke *sigh* but if I did own them I would have taken better care of Jo and Ellen.

Authors Note: All three drabbles were inspired by the song “If You Only Knew” by Shinedown

If you only knew
I'm hanging by a thread
The web I spin for you
If you only knew
I'd sacrifice my beating
Heart before I lose you

Castiel wasn’t sure what had changed, but he knew something had. Ever since he was brought back he was different, soft in a way he wasn’t before. He could feel things inside of him that he didn’t understand. He did not know why his allegiance for the human Dean Winchester ran so deep.

He was unsure of many things, but one thing he knew with certainty was that his loyalties lied with the eldest Winchester brother and no one else. Why though? Was he not a heavenly minion? A vessel to serve god? And if so why was being by Dean’s side his utmost priority?

What did it mean? Why was he compelled to follow the human around like some kind of pet? Castiel glanced at Dean and frowned. Dean’s jaw clenched and he ran a hand over his tired face. There was a dark look in his eyes and one of pain on his face as he spoke.

“Cas…”

Castiel’s frown deepened as he cut off whatever Dean was about to say.

“I killed two angels this week. Those are my brothers. I'm hunted, I rebelled, and I did it, all of it, for you, and you failed…”

Dean swallowed hard and gave Castiel a grave look.

“I’m so sorry Cas…we…we did what we could…I swear we tried…it just….I…”

Dean floundered for words and then just shut his mouth and shook his head. Castiel watched the flicker of emotions on the hunter’s face and when pain flashed in his eyes, the Angel had an overwhelming urge to make the look go away.

He shifted on his feet and opened his mouth to say something, but wasn’t sure what the appropriate thing to say would be. Dean watched a slight look of distress cross Castiel’s face and he raised an eyebrow.

“What is it Cas?”

“You are in pain.”

Dean’s brows furrowed.

“Pain?”

“Yes. You looked as if something was bothering you and then your face held pain.”

Dean shrugged.

“I’m sorry I let you down that’s all…it seems to be all I do lately. I know you gave up a lot to help me and Sammy…and I appreciate that…I’m just sorry we couldn’t stop it.”

“To help you.”

Confusion crossed Dean’s face as he looked at Castiel.

“Huh?”

“I have given up much to help you…”

“Oh…well either way…I’m uh…grateful.”

Castiel nodded.

“What do I say?”

“About what?”

Castiel motioned towards Dean.

“I wish to ease your pain, but I do not know how. For some reason when you are in pain…it bothers me…it makes this human vessel uncomfortable. So I wish to ease the pain.”

Dean let out a small laugh and scratched the back of his head.

“I’m not sure, but I appreciate the sentiments. I’ll be fine. I’ll just push it aside and do the job like I always do…no worries.”

Dean chuckled and met Castiel’s eyes.

“Sometimes I swear…there’s something wrong with you Cas. It’s good though…I like it. Crazy Angel…”

Dean laughed again and turned away from Castiel to find Sam. Castiel watched him go and the tightness in his chest eased at Dean’s laughter and smile. He was not sure what changed when he was brought back, but he knew something was definitely different.

And he was okay with that, because everything he did from this point on was not only for god, but for Dean Winchester…because when Dean smiled it put Castiel at peace and all the strange feelings jumping around inside him calmed.