A Lot Of Different Ways

Title: A Lot Of Different Ways
Rating: PG-13
Author: Reportergirl13
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean, Jo
Word Count: 650
Prompt: “the first cut is the deepest” (Fandon_Fridays)



I’ve been described a lot of different ways by a lot of different people, but one word I never thought would be used to describe me is fool. It’s exactly what I am though. I let my feelings cloud my judgment and I fell into bed with Dean Winchester.

I can still feel the light caress of callused fingers against my skin, warm breath on my neck as his body moved against mine. Whispered words of passion and affection spilled from his lips and I believed them.

Every touch felt like he was memorizing my body, like I wouldn’t be there in the morning. That should have been my first clue. Blissful release of all the pent up tension from over the years had us collapsing in exhaustion.

He pulled me into his arms and held me. It had felt right…good, which only made waking up to cold sheets and an empty bed that much worse in the morning. The first cut is the deepest, the tears had pooled in my eyes almost immediately.

I glanced around the room confirming what I already knew. My body ached proving where he’d been last night. I should have known he’d break my heart, but I’m a Harvelle and we don’t break easily. The next time we ran into each other was at Bobby’s.

I acted the same as I always do and when he cornered me, apologized for leaving, I repressed every emotion I’d ever felt for him and laughed. I shrugged as I looked him in the eye and told him it was no big deal, just a little sex amongst friends.

I walked away leaving him there. I could feel his eyes on me and the pain deepened. I would have given him all of my heart, but no matter what I offered it would never be enough for him.



****

I’ve been described a lot of different ways by a lot of different people, mostly females, but one word I never thought would be used to describe me is heartless. It’s exactly what I am though, freaking douche bag. I let my feelings cloud my damned judgment and I fell into bed with Jo Harvelle.

I can still feel her silky skin under my fingers, tight body writhing under mine. Soft moans and loud grunts as skin slapped against each other and I might have even been delirious enough to whisper a few affectionate words in her ear.

Thought I’ll deny it if asked. I had the overwhelming urge to be close to her and that night I pulled her into my arms and held her. It had felt right…good and that’s when I knew it was no longer a one night stand. It scared the shit out of me that one night could open up emotions I’ve kept sealed and locked away for years.

So while she slept I slipped out from the sheets, got dressed, placed one lat kiss on her forehead and ran for the hills as fast as the impala would take me. I knew waking up alone would hurt her, but I rationalized she’d be better off. I mean shit, what kinda life could she really have with me?

She should have known I was gonna break her heart. It’s who I am, what I do even if it is unintentional. The next time I saw her was at Bobby’s. She looked amazing and was the same Jo as usual. I cornered her, actually apologized for leaving and she laughed.

The first cut is the deepest; her laughter hit home making my heart clench. All the insecurities I’ve had were brought to the surface. She walked away leaving me there.

I’d made up my mind after seeing her again at Bobby’s and I had been ready to try and love again, but no matter what I offered it would never be enough for her.