Regrets (1/6)

Title: Regrets
Author: 13ReporterGirl13
Email: CLombardi13@gmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Feedback/Comments: Most definitely welcome. Good or Bad I can take constructive criticism. I crave it actually; it makes me a better writer. LoL
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the CW and the Creators of Supernatural. But Boy what I wouldn’t do if I owned Dean and Sam. ;-)
Spoilers: All of season 1-3 of Supernatural
Couples: Jo/Dean Sam/Ruby…other couples possible
Summary: What if Jo and Dean had slept together in No Exit? After returning to the Roadhouse with Ellen, Jo learns about John Winchesters part in her father’s death and takes off. Four months later, after finding out she’s pregnant with Dean’s child, she comes home. Five years after all hell breaks loose, the rebuilt Roadhouse is attacked and Jo is killed. When Dean attends the funeral, he meets his son for the first time. Will he step up and take care of him now that Jo is gone? Or will he walk away like he always does…



Prologue September 2012 
(Dean POV) 

The car was quiet as we drove down the deserted road. The sun was high in the sky and it beat down on me through the open windows. I looked down, and the glaring red numbers above the tape player read 10:15. I heard a heavy sigh and I glanced at the seat next to me. Sam lifted a hand and rubbed it down his face before leaning back and closing his eyes. I turned my head back to the road. We should be there in another hour or so. I heard Sam shift and out of the corner of my eye, saw his hand reach out and start fiddling with the dial. He leaned back as he settled on a station. The song ended and a soft melody began to float from the speakers. 


‘I can’t fight this feeling anymore…and yet I’m still afraid to let it flow…what started out as friendship, has grown stronger…I only wish I had the strength to let it show…’

My jaw tensed, my hands tightened on the wheel and my voice came out gruff when I spoke to Sam. “Shut it off Sammy.” He turned his head in my direction and spoke to me slow, like I was a child.

“Dean…” I cut him off, anger in my voice now. “Change the damn song Sam.” His hand came out immediately and he flicked his wrist, changing the station. The comforting sounds of ACDC filled the car and my body relaxed. I could feel Sam’s eyes on me, but I ignored him. He lowered the radio and I raised an eyebrow in his direction before turning back to the road. “I’m listening to that.” I could hear the hesitation in his voice when he spoke. “We should talk about this Dean.”

 I didn’t want to talk about this…I wanted to spend the rest of the ride there pretending everything was fine…why couldn’t he give me that? “Yeah well, I don’t want to talk. Crank up the music Sammy. Let’s just enjoy the ride.” I could clearly see the disapproval on his face and after staring at me for a minute or so he sighed, turned the music up and leaned back in his seat. Ten minutes later I heard another loud sigh from Sam. My frustration got to me.

“Could you cut it out?” He looked startled. “Cut what out?” “The heavy sighing man…it’s annoying.” I looked at him and he glared at me. I could hear irritation in his voice as he spoke to me. “You’re an ass, man.” I gave him a grin. “Damn right I’m an ass man…Although I can appreciate a nice pair of jugs too.” Sam slammed his hand against the dashboard, I winced and almost told him to stop beating on my girl, but the look in his eyes as I quickly glanced at him, stopped me.

“Dammit Dean! Cut it out. Stop pretending everything is okay. Jo is dead! Don’t you even care?” I jerked the car to the side of the road. The car dipped down, came to a sudden stop and dust flew around outside from the tires settling. I had one arm over the steering wheel as I turned to face Sam. I saw him swallow hard when he saw the look on my face. My brows were creased and I held his eyes as I spoke to him in a livid tone. “How can you ask me that?”

He opened his mouth ands closed it again. “I know where we’re going Sam. Of course I care, but did you ever think that maybe this is my way of dealing with things. Not everyone is like you and holds their feelings on their sleeve.” My voice lowered and I tried to hide the emotion in it as I spoke. “I kick myself in the ass every day for not going after her Sammy…everyday.”

It was me who sighed this time as I ran a hand down my face, closed my eyes for a second and composed myself. When I opened my eyes Sam was looking at me with a mixture between pity and understanding on his face. Great… “Listen, I just want to drive…I want to listen to music…can we just spend the rest of the trip there not talking about this?”

He was quiet for a couple of seconds before he nodded. “Yeah…we can do that.” I nodded as I shifted the impala in gear and pulled back onto the road. I reached out turned up the volume a little and kept driving. The sighs from Sam stopped and I started to relax again. As the song on the radio changed I couldn’t help my thoughts drifting back to the week everything with Jo changed…

September 2007

Sam and I had just pulled up and parked in front of the Harvelle’s Roadhouse. After finishing our last hunt we thought we’d head back here, maybe see if Ellen knew any other jobs we could take. If I’m honest with myself, it was also nice to have a place to go back to…even though I’d never actually admit it. I got out of the car followed by Sam. I smiled to myself before speaking.

“Los Angeles, California.” He raised an eyebrow. “What’s in L.A.?” I tried to sound serious as I spoke. “A young girl has been kidnapped by an evil cult.” He looked interested and I had to keep myself from laughing. “Yeah?” I nodded. “Girl got a name?” “Katie Holmes.”

 Same laughed and I grinned. “That’s funny. And for you, so bitchy.” I was about to respond when I heard arguing coming from inside the Roadhouse. I glanced at Sam and he gave me a ‘what do you think’ look. I shrugged. I started to push open the door as I spoke. “Of course, on the other hand…catfight.” Once inside we could see Ellen and Jo in the middle of a screaming match.

I glanced between them. “I am your mother; I don’t have to be reasonable!” Jo’s arms pushed away from her body. “You can’t keep me here!” Ellen pointed in Jo’s direction before yelling back. “Don’t you bet on that, sweetie!” “What are you gonna do? Are you gonna chain me up in the basement?” I saw a spark in Ellen eye and for a second I thought she was going to take Jo up on that idea.

“You know what? You’ve had worse ideas than that recently! Hey, if you don’t wanna stay, don’t stay. Go back to school!” Jo growled slightly and glared at Ellen. “I didn’t belong there! I was a freak with a knife collection!” Ellen scoffed and her voice was filled with sarcasm when she spoke. “Yeah, but getting yourself killed in some dusty backroad, that’s where you belong?”

It was then that Ellen noticed we were standing at the door looking out of place. Her voice was even when she spoke, but I could still here the underlined exasperation. “Guys, bad time.” Of course Sammy always being the suck-up spoke first as he nodded his head. “Yes, ma’am.” As I looked between Jo and Ellen and followed Sam’s reply with a smart ass remark.

“Yeah, we rarely drink before ten, anyway.” We started making our way back to the door when Jo called out to us. “Wait. I wanna know what they think about this.” I could see distaste clearly on her face from her daughters comment. “I don’t care what they think.” I turned when I heard the door open again. I smirked slightly when a family of four wearing shirts that said ‘Nebraska is for Lover’ pilled into the room.

The man spoke to us as they looked around the bar. “Are you guys open?” Ellen and Jo spoke at the same time. “No!” “Yes!” The guy looked confused, but was smart enough to realize something was going on. He put an arm around his wife and started to usher his family out of the Roadhouse. He looked over his shoulder and spoke. “We’ll just check out the Arby’s down the road.”

When they were no longer in sight Ellen looked like she was about to say something when the phone rang. Jo and Ellen stared each other down until Ellen finally sighed and went to get the phone. As she began talking to the person on the other end Jo approached me. I looked her over as she started talking. She really is an attractive girl…I’ve never really had a type…usually whoever is willing worked, but Jo…she’s different.

“Three weeks ago, a young girl disappears from a Philadelphia apartment.” Her hand waving papers in my direction pulled me from my thought. What had she said? I gave her a slightly confused look and she spoke again. “Take it, it won’t bite.” There’s my in…that way she won’t know I wasn’t paying attention before…

“No, but your mom might.” She glared at me and I took the file. I started flipping through it. Hmm this is pretty decent work. Not too many people would have caught this pattern. She continued explaining the job to me. “And this girl wasn’t the first. Over the past eighty years, six women have vanished –- all from the same building, all young blondes. Only happens every decade or two, so cops never eyeball the pattern. So, we’re either dealing with one very old serial killer, or…”

I cut her off and looked up from the papers. “Who put this together? Ash?” She looked insulted and stood up straighter. “I did it myself.” I could see her waiting for a retort, but none came to mind. I glanced back down at the papers. “Hm…” She moved next to me with his hands in his pockets and shrugged before speaking. “I’ve got to admit, we’ve hit the road for a lot less.”

At that point Ellen had gotten off the phone and walked back over to us. “Good. If you like the case so much, you take it.” Jo’s eyes widened and she yelled. “Mom!” Ellen looked her dead in the eye and her voice was hard and didn’t leave much room for argument. “Joanna Beth, this family has lost enough. I won’t lose you, too. I just won’t.”


Present Time

I felt a nudge on my right arms and I looked away from the road at Sam. I raised an eyebrow and he gave me a worried look. “You were staring straight ahead…” “Yeah…I’m driving. Where do you want me to look?” “You zoned out Dean. I called your name a few times. You didn’t answer. You okay?” I gave him a slight smirk. “Maybe I was ignoring you.” He shook his head and leaned back. “Whatever Dean.” He was silent and I focused back on the road. I could see a green sign up ahead on the right side of the road. Welcome to Nebraska. Here goes nothing...

Chapter 1