Friday, October 7, 2011

Battered But Not Broken


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Banner By: Franica
Title: Battered, But Not Broken
Rating: PG-13
Author: Sxymami0909
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean/Jo
Word Count: 1960
Sequel to ‘Breaking Point’
Prompt: "Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether or not your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.” Written for week # 36 of Fandom_Fridays



What is love? Is it something tangible that can be bought with money? Or that feeling of butterflies you get in the pit of your stomach? Jo Harvelle had been around for twenty-four years and she still wasn’t sure she knew how to define love. Two weeks ago if you asked her, she’d probably tell you she wasn’t sure it even existed.

She glanced to her left, Dean’s arm resting on the wheel of the impala, light streaming in through his open window, a look of mild ease on his face. A lot can change in fourteen days. Two weeks ago Jo would have said the most important person in Dean Winchester’s life was his little brother Sam.

Today she’d say she wasn’t so sure anymore. Not after what he’d done. In Dean’s eyes Sam had wronged him in a way that couldn’t be forgiven. And though he didn’t blame her, not even a little, she did. She should have been more careful, should have taken more precautions.

Having a demon inside your body for any length of time was unsettling. It’s one of the worst forms of being violated a person can be subjected to. She felt dirty, used, and weak. She’d spent the first two hours after waking up crying. Nails clawing at her own body trying to rid herself of the last three days.

Dean had sat there and held her. He didn’t bother with false words of comfort; somehow knowing they wouldn’t have helped. And when the whirlwind of tears had finally stopped, he’d apologized to her sending her into another bout of tears.

Jo had never really been the type of girl to cry when she was upset, more likely she’d sock a person in the nose. But this time…circumstances had been different and she’d clung to Dean’s side for days afterwards and to his credit he never once complained.

Five days after Dean sent that demon bitch to hell, the three of them had headed to Bobby’s. The drive had been tense, and the minute they arrived Bobby had known something was wrong. They only lasted two days.

Every time Sam looked at her, glanced in her direction, spoke to her, it evoked an emotional response from Jo and a physical one from Dean. She couldn’t even look at Sam without wanting to crawl out of her skin and her anxiety set Dean on edge.

They had screamed at each other for hours, threw things, and at one point it escalated to physical blows instead of just verbal. Bobby had stepped in then, told Dean that maybe it was time he and Sam went their separate ways.

Jo could still remember the look on Sam’s face. He had expected Dean to say no, that they were stronger together, but he just caught his breath, and nodded while saying maybe Bobby was right. In that moment Jo couldn’t be sure, but she thought she saw the last spark of hope inside Sam burn out.

From that point on it had been just her and Dean on the road, checking in with Bobby and Ellen every few days. The further away from the situation they got the more she seemed to relax which in turn seemed to make Dean relax.

Things weren’t perfect, they still fought on almost a daily basis, and sex with them was almost a given, but it was different. It wasn’t like when they’d first gotten together and everything was simple and fun. The honeymoon phase had passed and yet here they were.

They’d been beaten, bruised, hunted, possessed, and had weathered the storm, coming out at the other end slightly battered, but not broken. Her eyes lingered on his body, arm winding the wheel around as the road curved sharply, and that’s when it hit her.

This was love. It wasn’t about the temporary giddy feelings you get with new love, or the nights spent learning each other’s bodies. It wasn’t just being there for the good moments, but being able to work through the bad ones together. It was what was left when the novelty of something new and undiscovered wore off.

“What are you starin’ at blonde?”

Her lip turned up at the corner, eyes once again shifting towards the window. “Trying to figure out if you plan on speedin’ up anytime soon Princess ‘cause I don’t know about you, but I could eat.”

“Keep your pants on we’re comin’ up to a rest stop soon.”

A comfortable silence settled over them again and a callused hand curled around her soft one, lifting it to his lips and placing a soft kiss there. She let out a long breathe letting her body melt into her seat. What is love? Two weeks ago if you’d asked her, Jo Harvelle probably would have told you she wasn’t sure it even existed, but in that moment while sitting next to Dean as he drove down the empty highway she knew she would have been wrong.


______



What is love? Is it something tangible that can be bought with his latest winnings from hustlin’ pool? Or that queasy feeling you get in the pit of your stomach like you ate a bad bacon cheese burger? Dean Winchester had been around for thirty years and he still wasn’t sure he knew how to define love. Two weeks ago if you asked him, he’d probably tell you he wasn’t sure it even existed.

He could feel Jo’s eyes on him as he steered the impala down the empty road and he let out a light sigh.
A lot can change in fourteen days. Two weeks ago Dean would have said the most important person in his life was his little brother Sammy.

Today he wasn’t so sure anymore. Not after what he’d done. In his eyes Sam had crossed a line that couldn’t be forgiven. He didn’t blame Jo, how could he, but Sam knew what he’d been doing. He knew what Jo meant to him and he hadn’t cared.

Dean knew from personal experience that having a demon inside your body for any length of time was a violation so nasty you couldn’t even explain how bad it was because a regular person just wouldn’t understand. When Jo had first woken up she’d spent the first two hours crying. His heart had clenched inside his chest as he watched her claw at her own skin, face red, breathing coming in short gasps like there wasn't enough air in the room. The only thing he could think to do was hold her. He knew nothing he said would make it better, so he stayed quiet. Made sure that she knew he was there and he wasn’t going anywhere.

When she had finally quieted down he apologized for failing her. For taking so long to figure out what had been going on. His words had only set off the waterworks again and at the time he’d wondered why he said anything at all.

Jo had never really been the type of girl to cry at least from what Dean could tell, but he guessed this time things were different and hell if she didn’t deserve to get all that pent up emotion out. She’d clung to him for days to the point where he had to keep the bathroom door open when he went to shower or piss.

Most people would complain about clingy girlfriends, hell normally he’d probably do the same thing, but it was Jo. And he knew her. She was not clingy by nature, she was the exact opposite and that was how he knew how bad things really were and it made him hate his brother that much more.

Five days after he sent that demon bitch to hell, they headed to Bobby’s Sam in tow. Dean had driven across the country hundreds of times, killed hundreds of demons and been in loads of compromising positions, but nothing was more uncomfortable than that four hour drive to Bobby’s.

It was a waste of a trip they’d only lasted two days. Every time Sam looked at or spoke to Jo he could see panic taking over her. It was almost like he could see her remembering those three days, reliving them and it killed him to see the pain on her face.

It killed him every time his amazing, independent, badass, sexy as hell girlfriend gripped his body like a scared animal. That was what his brother had done to her and it drove him crazy. And so he’d yelled at him. They’d screamed at each other for hours, threw things, and at one point it escalated to physical blows instead of just verbal.

Bobby had stepped in then, told him that maybe it was time he and Sam went their separate ways. Dean could still remember the look on his brother’s face. He was pretty sure he expected him to say no, to let him think that the whole thing would blow over and it would all be okay.

But the truth was it wouldn’t. Dean could barely look at him anymore without wanting to hit him. He loved Sam…he always would. That was his baby brother…but he didn’t like the person he’d become and he couldn’t pretend to anymore.

So he’d taken a deep breath and nodded while saying maybe Bobby was right. In that moment Dean couldn’t be sure, but he thought he saw the last spark of hope inside Sam burn out and for a minute it had made him hate himself.

From that point on it had been just him and Jo on the road, checking in with Bobby and Ellen every few days. The further away from the situation they got the more she seemed to relax which made him relax.

Things weren’t perfect, they still fought on a daily basis, humped like rabbits, and disagreed on methods of killing monster, but at the same time it was different. It wasn’t like when they’d first started messing around and everything was uncomplicated. The so called honeymoon phase had passed and yet here they were.

They’d been beaten, bloodied, hunted, and possessed. But surprisingly they’d weathered the storm, coming out at the other end slightly battered, okay more than slightly, but not broken. Her eyes were still on him he could feel the heat of her gaze.

It was comforting knowing she was there. She brought him peace in this crazy shit hole of a life and that’s when it hit him.

This was love. It wasn’t about the temporary euphoria of post orgasmic bliss, or the wild nights spent learning each other’s bodies. It wasn’t just being there for the good moments, but being able to work through the bad ones together. It was what was left when the novelty of something new and undiscovered wore off.

“What are you starin’ at blonde?”

He glanced at her briefly, her lip turning up at the corner, eyes once again shifting towards the window.

“Trying to figure out if you plan on speedin’ up anytime soon Princess ‘cause I don’t know about you, but I could eat.”

“Keep your pants on we’re comin’ up to a rest stop soon.”

A comfortable silence settled over them again and he lifted her hand to his lips placing a soft kiss there. He heard her let out a long breathe as her body relaxed into the seat next to him. What is love? Two weeks ago if you’d asked him, Dean Winchester probably would have told you he wasn’t sure it even existed, but in that moment while sitting next to Jo, her hand in his as he drove down the empty highway he knew he would have been wrong.

1 comment:

  1. I really like this one... Just what I needed for a Dean/Jo fix :)

    ReplyDelete