Saturday, April 9, 2011

I'll Be Here

Banner By: Eva
Title: I’ll Be Here
Rating: PG-13
Author: Sxymami0909
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam, Jo (Dean/Jo implied)
Word Count: 1,560
Song: “Live For Me” Blue Oyster Cult from lightthesparks

Live for me
Live for me

Sam stood on Bobby’s porch liquor bottle in hand, eyes taking in the dark night. Soft sobs from inside the house drifted to his ears causing him to bring the bottle to his lips, dark liquid burning his throat as he gulped it like a dying man.

“Stop…don’t be a bitch. Take care of Jo…tell Bobby I know he did everything he could…tell Ellen…tell her I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise.”

“Dean don’t do this…please.”

“Sammy it’s the only way, you know it’s the only way.”

“I won’t let you.”

His eyes jerked open at the memory as he bent over coughing, alcohol spilling against the wood. He took several deep breaths as he tried to get his brother’s voice out of his head. They’d been fighting this war for close to two years.

Battling the horseman, keeping Michael and Lucifer at bay and in one moment it all fell apart. Castiel got wind of another rising and Bobby heard there was something fishy happening in Kansas.

So Jo and Ellen had gone to Kansas and he and Dean had made their way back to Carthage. A place that held enough bad and good memories to last a life time. They’d almost lost Jo and Ellen there a little over a year ago. That was the day his brother finally stopped being a douche and admitted his feelings for Jo.

This time they hadn’t been as lucky. They were ambushed and by the time Castiel got there it was too late. The wound was too deep and as he lay on the ground tears streaking down Sam’s face Dean had shook his head and told him to get it together, he had a plan.

Live twice as big
Love twice as long

Sam stood up and snorted to himself. His brother always having a plan. He was angry. This isn’t how things were supposed to go. Dean had already sacrificed his life once for him. Things were different now. Dean had other people in his life who loved him.

He wanted his brother back, alive and bitching at him. He didn’t care if the battle was finally over. If they’d won the war. He’d rather still be fighting if it meant Dean was fighting by his side. Sam squeezed his eyes shut as he pinched the bridge of his nose willing the images to go away.

“You can’t stop me…It’s too late Sammy…I can feel it. Just let me do this…Cas make the arrangements.”

Sam watched the Angel disappear before looking back at Dean’s bloody body. His breathing was shallow as he let out a strangled chuckle.

“Jo’s gonna be so pissed at me…do me a favor Sammy?”

“You can do it yourself when I bring you home.”

Dean ignored him.

“Tell her I love her. Hell maybe you should get your phone out and record me saying it…or she…she might not believe it.”

He could hear the strain in Dean’s voice; see the pain on his face. Sam’s voice was barely a whisper as he clenched his jaw and spoke.

“What am I supposed to do Dean? You know what happened the last time you died. I can’t do this without you…you gotta fight. What am I gonna do?”

“Live…you’re gonna live Sammy. When we’re done here…the apocalypse will be null and void…you’re gonna make sure our family is okay. Maybe you’ll even get out a little have some fun. Fall in love, get a normal job, who knows…”

He tried to smile, but Sam could see it was hard for him.

“I don’t care about all that.”

“I do. Now move.”

“No Dean.”

“Damn it Sam!”

Work twice as hard
Play all of your cards

The creaking of wood knocked him out of his thoughts and he turned to see Castiel watching him closely. Sam glared in the Angel’s direction.


“You’re angry with me.”

Sam let out a bitter laugh.

“I’m angry at the whole damn world Cas. What do you want?”

“He did the right thing you know. Saving you…the people you all love. Dean saved millions of lives today.”

“Do you think I care about the millions of lives he saved today Cas?”

“I like to think you do, yes. You just can’t see it right now because you’re hurting.”

“What do you want?”

Castiel sighed before motioning towards the door.

“Joanna would like to speak with you. She asked if I would come get you.”

Sam shook his head.

“I don’t want to talk to her right now.”



The angel frowned and opened his mouth when a small warm hand landed on his shoulder. He glanced to his side to see Jo standing there tear streaked face, red rimmed eyes.

“It’s fine. I got it from here Cas.”

Burn twice as bright
Three times as long
But brother, don't do no one wrong

He nodded and walked back into the house shutting the door quietly behind him. She took a few steps forward and leaned against the railing as she studied him. He took another swig of the mostly empty bottle in his hands and she sighed.


“I don’t want to talk about it. Just leave me alone Jo.”

She closed her mouth before reached out attempting to extract the bottle from his hands. He shifted and when she didn’t let go he raised his hand about to shove her out of the way when he froze. Jaw tense as he met Jo’s eyes.

Her body was tense, bracing itself in case the hit came, but it never did. He released the bottle into her waiting hands and turned away from her.

“Sam…I need to know what happened…and I need you to get it together.”

He whirled around on her striding in her direction until she was backed against the railing again his voice hard.

“I don’t need to tell you anything and what possible reason do I have to get things together huh? Tell me Jo cause for the life of me I can’t think of any.”

He watched water pool in her eyes, bottom lip quivering slightly before she spoke in barely a whisper, eyes never leaving his.

“I’m pregnant…I was gonna tell him when you guys got back but…I can’t do this alone…I need you to be my friend…to be the rock cause I just…I just can’t do it anymore.”

Sam reeled back as if he’d been slapped as Jo broke down in front of him, sobs erupting from her as he stood there. Pregnant…Dean would have been a father. He swallowed hard and moved forward enveloping her in his arms, her hands balling into his shirt as she cried.

“I’m sorry…I was an ass.”

He moved them so they were sitting on the step as he tried to get her to calm down. When she was just sniffling every so often he broke the silence.

“We were ambushed by demons. I was fighting three and a fourth came at me with a knife. Dean saw and took the hit for me. He called out to Michael told him he was ready to say yes. Michael came…and right after he inhabited Dean’s body before he took full control Dean stabbed himself with Castiel’s Angel swore. He killed Michael.”

Silent tears coursed down Jo’s cheeks as Sam continued.

“It was liked everything stopped after that. Demon’s backed off…Cas went to go check on things and when he came back he said it was over. That eventually Lucifer would burn out of his vessel and be sent back where he came from. It almost seems to easy for everything we all went through.”

Live for me
Live for me

His voice trailed off and she just nodded. It was quiet again as Jo tried to process everything Sam had told her. She wanted to blame him, to yell at him and ask why he was more important than anyone else. Why Dean had to keep sacrificing things for him, but the truth was none of it was Sam’s fault.

Dean made his own decisions and from the beginning she knew she was the most important thing to him…next to Sam. Sam would always come first and she’d accepted that.

“I’m so sorry Jo…this…it’s all my fault. I wish it had been me.”

He dropped his head and she reached out and took his hand in hers.

“Don’t do that to yourself. This was Dean’s choice, not yours.”

He glanced up at her and cleared his throat.

“You know I’ll be here right and even though the baby won’t have Dean it will have its Uncle Sam. I promised Dean I’d be here, that I would take care of you, no don’t say anything. Just know I’ll be here.”

She nodded as he put a comforting arm around her. Castiel watched them from inside the house. He knew right now they were broken, hurting as was he and Robert and Ellen. But he also knew that things were going to be okay.

Sam would step up and be the man that Dean believed he could be so he would not tarnish his brother’s memory and eventually things would be alright. Until then Sam would live for his brother and hopefully when the wounds have healed he would once again live for himself.

1 comment:

  1. this was horribly sad but in a good way.
    I love the idea of Dean dying but Jo being pregnant, i only wish he'd known.